why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
it glows. i had to have it.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
Randomize
