btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
Randomize