Got a toothbrush?
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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