I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
