You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
Randomize
