Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
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