My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
Randomize
