It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
Randomize
