I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Randomize
