could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
Randomize
