We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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