I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
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