yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize
