We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
