You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize