i don't like sucking hair
And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
Randomize
