Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
