I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
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