you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
That accounts for only three of the penises
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
