as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
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