Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
Randomize
