let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
Randomize
