What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
This is the high leading the old right now
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
Randomize
