Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
