so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
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