Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
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