then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
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