This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize
