She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
Randomize
