Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
