Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
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