That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
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