I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Randomize
