Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
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