We tried having a conversation with our noses.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
Randomize
