I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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