You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
Randomize
