i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
i drank out of a bidet.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
