dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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