And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
Randomize
