I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
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