ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
do herpes really smell.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
