And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
Damn victory sex feels great
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Randomize
