Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Randomize
