i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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