I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
Farmville is her only friend.
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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