you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize
