there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
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