Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
Randomize
