So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
