I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
Randomize