i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
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