I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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