I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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