i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
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