Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
he had hair everywhere except his balls
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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