his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
