we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
Randomize
