im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Randomize
