time to smoke my breakfast
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Randomize
