We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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