you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
false alarm, still single
Randomize
