dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
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