**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
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