the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
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