What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
