I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Randomize
