i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
it's like iHOP with fire
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
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